Operation Star Chart - day one

Operation Star Chart

DD flately refuses to eat normal food. Her staple diet for the last few months since a bout of food poisoning (dodgy strawberries were the culprit we think) has consisted of 'juuuuice', milk (of the chocolate and un-chocolate variety) and various kids biscuits with the occasional yoghurt and spoon of rice pudding. Not for her the varied diet that we try to eat with fruit, vegetables, meat and bread all available to her. No siree Bob, just my usual please Mummy and make it snappy. And so I have opened organic baby food pouches and mixed them with apple juice for her to drink just so that I know she is getting enough vitamins and minerals to grow and develop. Well, no longer. We are not fussy eaters in this house. And I want to make one meal and have us all eat it. And I WILL get my own way. (Can you see where she got her stubbornness from?) This is war. The battle lines have been drawn. Operation 'Star Chart' has begun!

So this morning, DD did not get her usual breakfast in a cup 'juuuuice'. Instead she had a straw cup with apple juice, a quarter of my slice of toast with marmite, a small bowl of pureed banana and mango (yes I know it's still puree, but she can't drink it so that's an improvement), some Cheerios, some raisins and milk. And at the same time I took her through the principles of Operation Star Chart. For every meal where she makes the effort to eat some food, does without her 'juuuuice' and doesn't refuse everything, she will get a star. She can also get stars for tidying up her toys and washing her hands when we come in from outside. Five stars equals being able to watch her Maisy DVD before bedtime. She watched me closely while I explained each facet of the star chart, chewing slowly on a Cheerio. She did not touch the toast or the raisins. She drank a little apple juice. When I finished she looked at me expectantly. Her face said 'where's the juuuuice?'. My face turned away and I busied myself rearranging the dishes in the dishwasher. And you know what? Five minutes later she picked up her spoon and took a mouthful of the purred fruit. Wow! I was so proud of her I nearly cried. She had realised nothing else was coming and decided to try what was in the bowl. Now I know it doesn't sound like a lot but that is a BIG deal for DD. So I praised her to the high heavens and made a big show of adding the 'breakfast' sticker to her chart. Perhaps this will work?

Lunchtime arrives and after a busy morning at Gymboree, DD is hungry. She gets no 'juuuice' again. She gets the rest of the pureed fruit, a soft bread roll, a strawberry (which she's refused since her food poisoning), some slices of banana, two marmite sticks, a mini tomato and some chopped up chicken from my lunch, a spoon full of Philadelphia and a small pot of fromage frais. We eat together in the kitchen. On goes the bib and she's straight in for the bread roll, eating half of it without stopping. Wheee! Great start! Then a few sips of apple juice and the soft cheese on a spoon. Fab! Next, two spoonfuls of fromage frais and a Marmite stick. And then she stopped. And played 'pour' with the puree, apple juice and the rest of the fromage frais. Well, she's not going to get fat on this, that's for sure, but this is more than she's eaten on her own since October last year. I'm dancing up and down on the spot at this point and she gets her lunchtime star.

Dinner is her last opportunity of the day for getting a star. At this point she's up to four, having washed her hands both times we came home and tidying up her toys. I'm full of high hopes and decide to go for the big one. Our food as her food. I make a chicken chassuer full of fresh vegetables for OH and I put a small amount in DD's bowl, mashing it up a bit to make it easier for her to spoon. I add a bread roll, a strawberry, apple juice and another pot of fromage frais. And that's it. No biscuits.

Ten minutes before dinner DD wants a box of raisins. Mmmm... I hate to refuse her when she actually ASKS for food, so I let her have two raisins, but no more. Then dinner's on the table and she surveys the scene before her. I can almost see her brain working out that there's nothing in her bowl or on her plate that she wants to eat. Then she takes a couple of bites of her bread roll and I breathe again. I actually relax and start enjoying my food. I'm a toddler guru!

Except that then she stops. Totally.

'Maaaiisy,' says she.
'You can watch Maisy after dinner, darling,' says I.
'Maaaiisy, Maaaiisy, Maaaiisy' says she.
'You want to watch Maisy, and you can, after you eat your dinner,' says I.
'Down!' says she.
Ok, two bites of bread roll do not a dinner make. So here's where it gets hard. I've been expecting this all day. I'm going to be tough but, I hope, fair.
'Ok, if you're not hungry you can get down.'
'Maisy!' She beams.
'You can get down, but no Maisy unless you have your dinner.'

Then she pulls the face. At nineteen months old, I've seen this face before. It's the face that says; I don't want what's happening and I'm about to create a scene about it, ok? Tears, and lots of them. But I stand firm, calmly and quietly explaining again and again the rules of the game. Am I being harsh? Perhaps. She is very young. But she does understand what's going on. Eventually, she's sat on my lap, sniffing loudly and gulping air  after lots of crying and food refusals. Then she spys the pot of fromage frais. She stops sniffing and points. I feel a compromise coming on.

And so I got her to eat half a pot of fromage frais and DD got her final star for eating some dinner and her Maisy DVD. It's not a lot for all the fuss, I'll admit. No fruit or veg and no meat. But she's actually eaten some food today and not had any 'juuuice'. And I think that's a good start.

I've written this post for the Fussy Eaters Support Club.

Do you have a fussy eater in your family? How do you approach this feeding challenge? Have you used a star chart? Do you think I'm going about this the right way? What would YOU do? I'd love to hear your comments.